Keiichi Shimada Presents....

FOR STUDENTS


( 150 people have signed this guestbook since April 7. 1998 )

Composition Home


You all write very well and I hate to correct your writing.  But let me make some brief comments just for once.

Mr. Shimada


Izumi from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 23:54:

E-mail: g5219122@eco.dokkyo.ac.jp
--
Good afternoon!! I am the student learning economics in the Japanese university. I want to meet with the wonderful friend in the world. Today,22 years old!

Good afternoon!! (It may be "good afternoon" for you but not for the people living in the other side of the earth.)  I am a student learning (studying) economics in the Japanese university (at a university in Japan).  I want to meet with the wonderful friend in the world.  (I would like to have wonderful friends from all over the world.) Today, 22 years old! (Is this your birthday?  Then I would write: Today I have become 22 years old.)


Snoopy from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:36:

E-mail: g7139116@for.ac.jp
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Hi,I am a beautiful girl. 19years old. I study French at the university. Please make friends with me.

Hi, I am a beautiful girl. (I know you are beautiful but I wonder what other people might think if they just read this.)  19 years old.   I study French at university.  Please make friends with me. (Perhaps OK, but I would write: "I would like to make friends with you.") Be sure to put two spaces between the sentences.

@


Satomi Kudoh from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:36:

E-mail: g7122173@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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hello! my name is Satomi Kudoh. I'm 20 years old and studying English in the university. I like playing the piano and classical musics!! please make friends with me!!

Hello!  My name is Satomi Kudoh.  I'm 20 years old and studying English in a university. I like playing the piano and classical music!!  (I like playing the piano and love classic music.)  Please make friends with me!! (See the above.) 


Hiromi from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:36:

E-mail: g6127541@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi! I am very interested in communicating with friends around world through internet. I love to travel abroad very very much. Let's talk about travelling!!

Hi!  I am very interested in communicating with friends from all around the world through the   internet.  I love to travel abroad very very much.  Let's talk about travelling!!  Good job!  Be sure to put two spaces between the sentences.


Asuka Mase from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:36:

E-mail: g6123550@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi! I am a university student now. I am interested in movies. I watched Titanic three times lately. That was a great movie. I also like to travel.I traveled to U.S.

Hi!  I am a university student (now).  I am interested in movies.  I watched (have seen)The Titanic three times lately.   That was a great movie.  I also like to travel (I like traveling).  I traveled to U.S. (I have had a trip to the U.S. )


Takako Tanaka from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:32:

E-mail: g7124320@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi,I am Takako. I want to make friends with foreigners and talk with each other.

Hi, I am Takako.  I want (would like) to make friends with foreigners (people from other countries) and would like to talk with each other.


Kazuko from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7123509@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi guys! I'm a 19-year-old girl student from Japan. Mail me please!!

Hi, guys!   I'm a 19-year-old girl (female) student from Japan.  Mail me please!! (Please send me e-mail.)


Kei from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7122028@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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I'm a university student. (19 years old, soon 20 years old!!) I am interested in classical music. I belong to an orchestra in my unversity. I play the violin. Now, I'm looking for anyone who send me e-mail. Please write to me!!

I'm (I am) a university student. (19 years old, soon going to be 20 !!)  I am interested in classical music.  I belong to an orchestra in my university.  I play the violin.   Now, I'm looking for anyone (some one?) who would send me e-mail.  Please write to me!! Very good job!


Akiko YAMANAKA from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7123520@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hello! I'm 19-year-old girl. It's first time for me to have e-mail friends in foreign countries. I love music! If you like it too, please send me a message. Also, I want to talk about a lot of things.

Hello!  I'm a 19-year-old girl.  It's first time for me (This is my first time) to try to have e-mail friends in foreign countries.  I love music!  If you like it too, please send me a message.  (Also, In addition?) I want to talk about a lot of other things with youGood job!


Tamaki from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g6126509@for.dokkyo.ac.jp.
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hi! I,m twenty one years old ,and one who like cardigans and diana king!! I,m looking forward to recieve message from you!

Hi!  I,m (I am) twenty one years old ,and I like cardigans and Diana King!!  I,m (I am) looking forward to receiving messages from you!


Haruka Nishimura from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7123385@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi!! I'm a 19-year-old girl and now in the 2nd year at university. My major at university is English and also studying German as a 2nd foreign language. I really love to know about different culutures and want to have a lot of friends all over the world! My hobbies are music, swimming, writing letters, watching videos(movies), meeting with my friends and shopping. I'm now doing a part-time job to have oversea trips. So why don't you tell me about your country, and of course, about yourself? If you have any interests in me, please e-mail me!! I will answer you soon.

Hi!!  I'm (I am) a 19-year-old girl and am now in the 2nd (second) year at university.  My major at university is English and I am also studying German as a 2nd (second) foreign language.  I (would) really love to know about different cultures and want (would like) to have a lot of friends (from?) all over the world!  My hobbies are music, swimming, writing letters, watching videos (movies), meeting with my friends and shopping.  I'm (I am) now doing a part-time job to have overseas trips.  So why don't you tell me about your country, and of course, about yourself?  If you have any interests in me, please e-mail me!!  I will answer you soon (right away?)Great!!  You write very well.   You already have your own style and I like it.  You hardly need my correction.   My style is a little too formal and yours fits better for this kind of occasion.   Keep up the good work!


Ken Seki from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g5120259@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi,everybody. I love music. I'd like to talk about music. My favourite is Aerosmith,Spin Doctors, Black Croues,and so on. Kind of old music.

Hi, everybody.  I love music.  I'd like to talk about music.   My favorite is (favorites are) Aerosmith, Spin Doctors, Black Croues, and so on.  Kind of old music. Good job!  Be sure to put one space after a comma.


Sachiko from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7129166@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi! How are you doin'? I'm 19-year-old-girl and study in university. I wanna be friends with you. Leave me massage!!

Hi!   How are you doing?  I'm a 19-year-old girl studying at university.  I would like to be friends with you.  Leave me a message!! (?  I would write: I'm lookin' forward to your e-mail!!)  You seem to have your own style but, frankly, I do not like it!  I hate "doin'" and "wanna" at least in writing.  Sorry about that.


Maiko from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:29:

E-mail: g7121146@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hello!! I'm an university student in Japan. I'd like to be friends with someone from foreign country. Let's have a great time together. My favorite things are movies, music, sports, baking, shopping and so on. please tell me yours! I am lookking forward to getting your mail. Thank you!!

Hello!!  I'm a university student in Japan.  I'd like to be friends with someone from a foreign country.  Let's have a great time together.  My favorite things are movies, music, sports, baking, shopping and so on.  (I do not like "and so on" here.  I would write: "..shopping, etc." or, simply, "...baking, and shopping.")  Please tell me yours!  I am looking forward to getting your mail.   Thank you!! Good job!


RIE from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g3128423@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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HI! I would love to be your friend. PLEASE tell me who you are and then I'm going to tell you about myself. Let us be FRIENDS OK? Well, I'm a Japanese girl and love to dance. Write me please.

Hi!  I would love to be your friend. PLEASE tell me who you are and then I'm going to tell you about myself. Let us be FRIENDS, OK?  Well, (Basically I do not like "Well,..." in writing.) I'm a Japanese girl and love to dance (dancing).  Write me please. Good job!!


KEN from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g7115155@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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I'm japanese footballplayer. Do you like football? Let's talk about fottball with me( to exemple: about world-cup 1998)! I think japan will win the cup...Hahaha. What do you think, who'll win?

I am a Japanese football player.  Do you like football?  Let's talk about football (it) with me ( for example: about the World-Cup 1998)!  I think Japan will win the cup...Ha, ha, ha.  What do you think, who'll win? Good job!  I like your writing strategy.


NANA from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g6128483@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
--
Hello! How's it going? I'm NANAKO HASHIMOTO from JAPAN. I go to Dokkyo University and major in Foreign language : English. I became junior this April and have been busy registering my schedule for this semester. I like playing tennis, so I decided to dedicate myself to do it this semester until my retiring from tennis circle (club). What do you like to do in your free time? Tell me!! I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Love, NANA

Hello! How's it going?  I'm NANAKO HASHIMOTO from JAPAN.   I go to Dokkyo University and major in a foreign language: English.  I became (have become a) junior this April and have been busy registering my classes for this semester.  I like playing tennis, and I decided to dedicate myself to it this semester until my retiring from tennis circle (club) (..,until I "retire" from my university tennis club).  What do you like to do in your free time?  Tell me!! I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.  Love, NANA Very good job!


Naomi Oguro from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g6128143@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi! My name is Naomi Oguro.I major Intercultural Communication here in Dokkyo Uni. That's why I'm interested in various cultures in all over the world. Also I want all of you to know intersting Japanese culture and Japan. I love to see movie(my favorite is "Titanic"!!!!), and I like traveling too. I want to make friend with all of you. I'm waiting for you mail!!!

Hi!   My name is Naomi Oguro.  I major in (am majoring in) Intercultural Communication here in (at) Dokkyo Univ(irsity).   That's why I'm interested in various cultures in all over the world (...cultures of all areas in the world).   Also (I do not like this "Also" here.   I would rather omit it.) I want all of you to know (about) interesting Japanese culture(s) and Japan.  (I would simply write: "I would like you to know about Japan and its interesting cultures.")  I love to see (going to see the) movies (my favorite is "The Titanic"!!!!), and I like traveling too.  I want to make friends with all of you.  I'm waiting for your e-mail!!!  Good job!!


MIYA from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g7123488@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hello! Hi ya doing? I am twelve years old.I want to talk with someone who likes SOCCER very much.

Hello!  Hi ya (? How are you) doing?  I am twelve (Are your sure?) years old.  I want (would like) to talk with someone (anyone?) who likes SOCCER very much.


Shin Ono from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g5124105@for.dokkyo.ac.jp.
--
Hello!! I'm the university student from Japan. I love soccer,so I'm looking forward to World Cup France '98. If you are interesting in soccer,send me your special message,please. Let's talk about it!!

Hello!!  I'm a university student from Japan.  I love soccer, so I'm looking forward to World Cup France '98.  If you are interested in soccer, send me your (special?) message, please. Let's talk about it!!  Good job!  Be sure to put one space after comma.


Hideaki Asakura from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g5121005@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Can anybody find meeeeeee somebody to talk... Something is better than Nothing.... The word to Big bird...

Can anybody find meeeeeee somebody to talk... (?  Could anybody find me somebody I can talk to?)  "Something is better than Nothing."  The words to (of?) Big bird... I am not sure if this strategy works.  Tell me how many messages you have received in response to this.


Tamaki from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g6124087@for.dokkyo.ac.jp.
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Hello! My name is Tamaki,21 years old. I live in Tokkyo, Koganei-city. I go to Dokkyo University to learn English, international communication and so on.

Hello!  My name is Tamaki, 21 years old.  I live in Koganei-city, Tokyo.  I go to Dokkyo University to learn (study) English, international communication (Tell me what "international communication" is.) and so on.  (I do not like "and so on" at least in writing.  See somewhere above.)


Tetsunori Inagaki from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g7124057@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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I don't have any friends in foreign countries. So I would like to talk with many people.If you would like to,you may be able to visit Japan.Why don't you be friendly with me.I can tell you about Japan. And you can tell me ,too. I'm looking forward to seeing you many times on e-mail.

I don't have (I have not had) any friends in foreign countries.  So I would (very much) like to talk with many people.   If you would like to, you may be able to visit Japan.(?)  Why don't you make friends with me.  I can tell you about Japan.  And you can tell me (about what? "about your country"?),too.   I'm looking forward to seeing you many times on e-mail. (Looks to me a little bit awkward.  I would simply write: "...forward to your e-mail.")  Good job!


John Trabolta from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:28:

E-mail: g7126374@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
--
Hello. I am a 19 years old Japanese student. Mail to me, please!! I am waiting for your mail forever.

Hello. I am a 19-years-old Japanese student.  Mail (Send e-mail) to me, please!!  I am waiting for your mail forever. (You cannot wait forever.   You can wait only till you die!  I think your expression is acceptable but how about: "I am waiting for your e-mail keeping my fingers crossed"?)  Great nickname!


Maria Noguchi from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:26:

E-mail: g6125476@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
--
Hi! My name is Maria Noguchi.I'm 20 years old university student. I'd like to talk to YOU! Please send me a E-Mail...I'm waiting for your message!

Hi!  My name is Maria Noguchi.  I'm a 20-year-old university student.  I'd like to talk to YOU! Please send me an E-Mail message...I'm waiting for your message! (Please note that "mail" or "e-mail" is uncountable.  You cannot say "a mail".  If you want to "count mail or e-mail", I think you have to say "two pieces of mail", or better yet, "two letters" or "two (e-mail) messages".)


miho from Japan wrote on April 9. 1998, 18:17:

E-mail: g6121328@for.dokkyo.ac.jp
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Hi,everyone! I am a student of Dokkyo University.My hobby is to see movie. I want to talk about moviethrough E-mail. Please be my E-mail friend!I'm waiting your E-mail always,thank you.

Hi, everyone!  I am a student of (at) Dokkyo University.  My hobby is to see movies.  I want to talk about movies (them) through E-mail.  Please be my E-mail friend!  I'm waiting your E-mail (always  I would rather omit this "always".  If you would like to emphasize your eagerness, what about using "desperately" instead.), thank you.


tomomi jinno from France wrote on April 9. 1998, 17:42:

URL: http://jinno.dokkyo.ac.jp
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please make e-mail friends with me

Please make e-mail friends with me.  Very cute!  Your message looks better (more poetic?) than my corrected version.

I did not know you were in France and you did not fill in your e-mail address correctly.  Try to put up your message again at Dave's E-Mail Connection.

Good Grief!  I spent more than a half day making this page.   Be sure to read it all!

Your Composition Teacher


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